If you have a child with sensory processing disorder, you may have noticed that they struggle to stand up for themselves. Girls seem particularly prone to this challenge, but boys experience it too. They may avoid situations that would put them in a position to have to choose to self-advocate or to mask/tolerate something undesirable, just to satisfy the social expectations of others. We never want any child to feel that they have to subdue what feels acceptable to them in order to feel socially accepted. In all honesty, that is how predators groom children to accept abuse.
That’s why we help children, girls and boys, learn to self-advocate with compassion while showing respect for others. It’s a delicate balance that many adults might still struggle with! But it’s a necessary skill to learn in order to maintain desired social relationships while respecting their own comfort levels.
For example, a child who is tactile-defensive may learn to withhold the desire to revolt or flee from the well-intentioned hug of another child because they have been conditioned not to respond “impolitely”. This may cause them to melt down at home from holding in that discomfort all day.
But when taught to self-advocate by holding their hands up to stop the unwanted hug, and offer a handshake instead, they rightfully honor their touch comfort level while respecting the other child and maintaining a positive social engagement. And hopefully coming home to you in a much more regulated and happy state!
If your child seems to struggle with compassionate self-advocacy, we can help!