The Hidden Cause of Your Child’s Meltdowns
Her little boy had just had another meltdown—this time because his sock felt “weird.” One minute, he was getting ready for school, and the next, he was curled up on the floor in tears, screaming that he wasn’t going. His mom knelt next to him, trying to coax him out of it, but he couldn’t seem to hear her. His face was tight with fear, his body frozen, and his breath was so shallow you’d think he was trying to disappear.
We hear these scenarios all too often.
And Mama, if this sounds like your child, we know how you’re feeling. You’re so tired; like you’ve been holding your breath for months.
And when you think about what’s been going on with your little one—the meltdowns, the fear of going into groups, the way he clings to you and shuts down when things get too loud or too fast— we know the feeling of worry that hits you like a tidal wave.
That feeling that says, “What am I missing? Why is everything so hard for my child?”
We’ve seen it a hundred times in the faces of the Moms we work with. And we want you to know: you are not crazy, and you are absolutely not alone.
The thing is, your sweet kiddo may be dealing with something called the Fear Paralysis Reflex, and we’d love to explain it to you—not in a “doctor-y” way, but like a big sister who’s walked alongside a lot of families in the same shoes.
So pour yourself a cup of coffee (or honestly, some chai tea if it’s that kind of day), and let’s talk.
What Is the Fear Paralysis Reflex?
Okay, so here’s the deal: the Fear Paralysis Reflex (FPR) is something we all develop. It actually shows up before babies are even born—when they’re still a little cluster of cells floating in their mama’s belly. This reflex helps the developing baby kind of “play possum” during times of stress. If mama’s stressed or scared, baby gets quiet. This is so that mama can use her resources to protect both of them. It’s our first survival reflex, plain and simple.
The problem? That reflex is supposed to integrate before birth.
But sometimes… it doesn’t.
And when that fear reflex stays “stuck” in a child’s body, it can cause all sorts of behaviors that look like anxiety, withdrawal, aggression, sensory overload, or emotional outbursts—but really, the nervous system is still wired to freeze and protect.
So it’s not that your child is choosing to ignore you or flip their lid. It’s that their brain is still running an old survival program—and that reflex keeps hitting “replay.”
What It Might Look Like in Your House
Here’s a guess as to what’s happening in your home.
Your child gets overwhelmed easily and either melts down or shuts down.
- They cling to you like glue in new environments.
- They panic if something changes (even a little).
- They say “I can’t” more than “I’ll try.”
- They like to be in control.
- They have a short fuse.
- They hate loud sounds, surprise transitions, or being in the spotlight.
- And sometimes, just getting dressed or eating feels like a battle.
Is that close?
That’s how the Fear Paralysis Reflex works—it whispers lies to your child’s nervous system like, “You’re not safe. Don’t move. Don’t speak. Don’t trust.” But it’s not bad; it’s just doing the only thing it knows to do to keep your child safe.
But don’t worry. That reflex can be integrated. We can actually help the brain let go of that fear state. That’s where therapy—and a whole lot of love and patience—comes in.
How We Calm the Storm
Here’s how we do it at Sense Able Brain, and what we’d probably do if we were walking this journey with you and your little one.
We start with what we call “Putting Out the Fire.” That means helping your child’s body feel safe again. Not just “know” they’re safe—but feel it deep down, where that reflex lives. We use calming tools, special sound therapy, gentle sensory work, and above all—connection. You are your child’s biggest safety cue, and we’ll show you how to use that bond like a superpower.
Then we move into “Calm Down, Child,” which sounds a little cheeky, but it’s all about using movement and rhythm to integrate those immature reflexes, and teaching them easy-to-use self-regulation techniques while those reflexes are still Integrating. It’s science-based movement and input that feels a lot like play. And it works.
We’ve seen kids go from terrified and shut down… to brave and blooming. It’s like watching the sun come out after a long storm.
Mama, HEAR this…
This is not your fault.
Your child is not broken.
You’re not making it up.
And you don’t have to do this alone.
We know it’s overwhelming when nothing seems to work and everyone’s telling you something different. But you’re not “spoiling” your child. You’re not being too soft. You’re doing what every mama should do—listening to what your gut is telling you, and advocating for the help your child needs.
And we’re here to say: your gut is right. There’s something going on that is out of your child’s control. But it’s not hopeless.
We can help.
Want to talk to someone who can help? We can schedule a free phone consultation with one of our expert Occupational Therapists. They can help you determine what’s going on and what your next steps should be. No obligation. They can even suggest some things you can do at home to start your child on the path to a more mature reflex pattern.
We’ll figure this out together, step by step, with no shame, no blame, and no impossible expectations.
You’re doing better than you think.
We’ve got your back.
❤ Your SAB Team